Some very good advice…..

Me, yes me scammed – of all people. Here’s what happened.

I became a victim of a clever 'Eastern European' scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into Sainsbury's at Winnersh has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or one of your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking voluptuous 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen. Their large firm young assets almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It's impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift to another store, in my case, Asda at Lower Earley. You agree and they both get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing, and both get completely naked. Then, when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately, and thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, and 29th. Also April 1st, 4th, twice on the 6th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this coming weekend.

So Be Warned!

A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend

After having great sex.

She spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles -- something she seemed to love to do.

As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?'

'Because,' she replied, 'I miss mine.'

Neck pains, headaches, dizzy spells

A man told the doctor he had severe neck pains, throbbing headaches, and dizzy spells. After a thorough examination, the doctor said there was no mistake about it -- he had only two months to live. The doomed man decided to spend all his money and enjoy his remaining life. First, he'd get something he always longed for -- a dozen tailor-made silk shirts.

While measuring him, the tailor said, "That's a size 17 neck."

"Hold on," said the man, "I wear a 15 1/2."

The tailor remeasured him: "You're definitely size 17".

The man insisted: "I'm a 15 1/2. I always wear a 15 1/2, and that's what I want."

"Okay," said the tailor, "but if you wear a 15 1/2, you'll have severe neck pains, throbbing headaches, and dizzy spells."