The above quote is one of the guiding principles of my life. You might even call it my "life verse," even though I know it's sacrilegious to have a life verse that's not from the Bible. At the heart of this quote is a beautiful little something called providence.
You see, I believe that God gives us the freedom to live whatever the heck kind of life we want to live, and that no matter what choice we make, God will be there, and He will bless us and make us a blessing. Obviously, I'm not talking about the freedom to sin. I'm referring to those amoral situations in which both choices are feasible for us as Christians. For example, why are Jane and I serving in this country, and not the country to the north of us, or why not Germany or Ecuador or Nigeria? To be frank - because we wanted to! To claim that God would want us to be in a specific country would imply that we would be sinning - SINNING! - if we served as missionaries in another country. I can already see us at the Pearly Gates:
God: Well, Joe and Jane, I see here that you served as missionaries for 35 years. You were faithful in your ministry, you served with all our strength, and even when you retired, you still went back there twice a year to continue encouraging the believers there.
Joe: Happy to be of service, Sir. Or is it Your Lordship? Abba? I'm sorry, I'm still not sure what to call you.
God: Never mind that. My point is, I wanted you in Spain! BAD missionary. BAD! No soup for you! NEXT!
This applies to anything in life: If you claim that God wants you to pick choice A over choice B, then you are sinning if you choose choice B. I pity the person who prays to God for guidance as to which outfit or suit to wear each day!
No, no, my friends - we are free! We don't have to live a life of uncertainty, fretting over every little decision. James tells us that if we need wisdom, we should "ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" (Jas 1:5). So pray for wisdom, trust that God has given it to you, and make your decision! George MacDonald also said something that works in harmony with the Augustine quote above: "The birth of action is the beginning of the death of doubt." When you move forward, you will get an idea whether or not your current course of action is best. Trust that God has given you His wisdom, and enjoy being free!
11/17/08
10/31/08
New Airline Rules
To cover the rising fuel costs:
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.
10/21/08
The Teacher
A teacher in a one-room schoolhouse arrives one morning to find a
nice red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it saying T.O.T. Knowing
that she had some not-so-nice pranksters in her class, she cautiously
asked 'Can someone explain what T.O.T. means?' Mary in the front row
raised her hand to explain it means 'To Our Teacher.'
The next morning the teacher finds a bigger and prettier apple than
the day before. This time there is a tag with T.O.T.W.L. written on
it. She asks for an explanation for this note and little Johnny waves
his hand to explain 'That means 'To Our Teacher With Love'.
The next morning she arrives to find a great big watermelon sitting on
her desk with a tag saying 'F.U.C.K.' Her jaw drops and she screams
'Who can explain this?'
Little Buckwheat in the back row raises his hand and says, that means
'From Us Colored Kids'
nice red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it saying T.O.T. Knowing
that she had some not-so-nice pranksters in her class, she cautiously
asked 'Can someone explain what T.O.T. means?' Mary in the front row
raised her hand to explain it means 'To Our Teacher.'
The next morning the teacher finds a bigger and prettier apple than
the day before. This time there is a tag with T.O.T.W.L. written on
it. She asks for an explanation for this note and little Johnny waves
his hand to explain 'That means 'To Our Teacher With Love'.
The next morning she arrives to find a great big watermelon sitting on
her desk with a tag saying 'F.U.C.K.' Her jaw drops and she screams
'Who can explain this?'
Little Buckwheat in the back row raises his hand and says, that means
'From Us Colored Kids'
10/17/08
Fruit and Fibre
Ah, the joys of parenthood...One particular story concerning my young son that I know will destroy any cockiness in his teenage years, was as follows...Just me and the 2 year old staying at home one day, when I notice the tell-tale niff of nappy filling activity, and look round to see the boy curling off a 'right head-shaker'. Disgruntled that his Mum had gone out before this event, I steeled myself for the necessary nappy change, and put my son in position on his bed.
Popping open the Pampers, I notice that the Tom Tit is as dry as a bone, and looks like a bag of dark brown marbles. Nice. I pick up said soiled nappy, lob it in the bin, turn around and see my boy sitting up straight, looking relieved, naturally. Then, in a horrifying slo-mo moment, I see him look down, and reach for a small poo pebble that had rolled of the nappy, mid-change. Before I could stop him or scream 'Nooooo', he cheerfully said 'RAISIN!' and promptly bit into his own excrement.
Funnily enough, he wasn't impressed with the taste and instantly gobbed it out onto the duvet.
I've now got the perfect retort if ever he ever 'talks shit'...
Popping open the Pampers, I notice that the Tom Tit is as dry as a bone, and looks like a bag of dark brown marbles. Nice. I pick up said soiled nappy, lob it in the bin, turn around and see my boy sitting up straight, looking relieved, naturally. Then, in a horrifying slo-mo moment, I see him look down, and reach for a small poo pebble that had rolled of the nappy, mid-change. Before I could stop him or scream 'Nooooo', he cheerfully said 'RAISIN!' and promptly bit into his own excrement.
Funnily enough, he wasn't impressed with the taste and instantly gobbed it out onto the duvet.
I've now got the perfect retort if ever he ever 'talks shit'...
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